Gemma's Guide to Online Dating

So this month I took up the little adventure of online dating. Although I don't have trouble in the man department, online dating has always intrigued me. After one month I have been on a few dates, spoke to a lot of men, deleted loads of messages from weirdo's, flicked through lots of photos of men and been showered with lovely compliments. I have been inspired to write down some little pointers for the people out there who want to take up the 'challenge' of online dating:

Your profile

• Be honest- Nobody likes a liar! Write your profile as honestly as you can. Your potential dates will see that your genuine rather than a weirdo who's just writing things you think people want to hear. The more honest you are there's more chance you will meet someone.
• Use a current picture- Don't put bad quality pictures of you from years ago when you were 3 stone lighter... that's just not cool and a shock for your date. When I was looking I only messaged guys back who had more than two pictures so maybe put a variety of pictures of you on there. Oh and of course a (fully clothed) body picture. Who cares if you have wobbly bits... get them up there it just shows your honest, serious and not hiding anything. Don't include photos of friends or the opposite sex in your pictures... big NO NO. Do not use photos of you from nights out unless you really are a lager lout. 
• Be safe- Do not put your contact details in your 'about me' section! There's plenty of weirdo's on there who would be happy to stalk you. If you have been messaging a potential date and your getting on that's cool if you give them your contact details but do not post them up for all the world to see! 
• Say exactly what you want- Don't fanny about... tell your  potentials what you are looking for. 

While searching and talking to your 'potential'

• Be polite- Refrain from sending crude messages to people. How are you expected to get a date if you just put ' Hey Sexy! Your tits are amazing fancy a F***' (Yep this is taken from my inbox) If you're serious about finding a date then take time to write a  nice personal message and definitely not one you just copy and paste to everyone.
• Be brutal- Don't reply to weirdo's out of pity... it just makes it harder when you try and get rid of them later down the line. If you don't like them do not reply. I know it sounds harsh but it just wastes time and maybe you could miss a potential date while being to busy trying to get rid of a weirdo.
• Be yourself-  Don't say things you think the person you are talking to wants to hear. Just be yourself! If they don't like it that every Tuesday you like reading comics while watching sponge bob square pants then they are not for you. 
• Be wary- Not everyone on online dating sites are nice and honest. Sometimes they might say things to get you into bed... or they are just weirdo's with hidden secrets. Just don't be naive!!  Keep your wits about you and don't believe everything everyone on there says.

The Date

• Give them a call- Once you have found a date online (wooohoo go you!) I would advise you speak to them on the phone before the big date. Just hearing someones voice and having banter on the phone brings an element of familiarity to the situation. Its a great icebreaker and will make you more relaxed when you have to meet them face to face. If you're more high tech and daring try skype!
• When?-  Give it a couple of weeks before your date. Get to know them first and then meet DO NOT rush into it. 
• Where?- Pick somewhere busy and familiar.
• Love or Lust?- So the dates going well and you are attracted to someone BUT what you need to think about is this love or lust? and the same goes for your date... do they just want to have their dirty way with you or do they actually want to start something with you.

• Be safe- Make sure people know where you are, what you're doing and who your with. Before I went on a date I would send Emma the guys picture, their number, little bit of info about them, where I was going and text her at random times during the date. I know this sounds like too much but its better to be safe than sorry. :-) 

The aftermath

If the date went well... wooohooo BUT if it didn't then don't worry! Get up, dust yourself off and try again! There are plenty more fish out there on online dating sites (trust me I know). Rejection and no spark between you and your date is horrible but take it as a learning experience. Say goodbye, forget about them, then get back on the website and I promise within minutes you would have found someone else!

Check out our Ask a Chap/Bird articles for more helpful tips, advice and relationship woes.

So that's it... Happy hunting online daters <3

Ask a Bird and a Chap!! March

This month LYYB thought we’d try something different. Ask a chap and ask a bird are combined in a public debate. We want anyone and everyone to comment on the below question... feel free to write an essay or a simple sentence. We want as many people to answer as humanly possible. Maybe there will be something in it for you, who knows what LYYB are really up to! 

So the question... Take it away ladies and gents... 

LYYB likes a night on the town, wearing a skimpy outfit and drinking ourselves into a stupor as much as anyone, but when it comes to nights out and meeting the opposite or maybe the same sex depending on the person, can you find love on a night out? Or do you think the way you meet someone sets the tone for a relationship? Is it true that the only way to meet a partner these days is to be off your head in a night club? A penny for your thoughts...

Ask a Bird- January

The boys at LYYB have been feeling rather left out of the dating loop, so we decided after a large number of queries to ask the birds what the craic is! We all know the girls are as equally complex as the boys … so it’s time to level the playing field.     

'Being single is a constant battle for all parties involved, first dates are especially mind boggling, what are your do’s and don’ts for that ever so awkward occasion? How do you think gents should appear? Dressed up? Should they kiss us? Is it wrong to sleep with someone on the first date? Basically ladies round up your first date etiquette for us'

Donna, 23

I'd have to say that regardless of how well you know the person sex on the first date is a no no! As it gives men the wrong impression and although you may not think it at the time ... They really want to have to work for it! I think kissing on a first date is acceptable as you've got to give them a little taste to keep them interested! Also flirting is a must you just don't want to make it all about flirting as again they'll get the wrong impression! You have to balance flirting and talking so that you can get to know one another. I don't really mind on whether the guy dresses up, it depends on the type of date, but I want to see that they've made an effort not just picked up a manky t-shirt off their bedroom floor and sprayed a bit of lynx on!! And they definitely have to have brushed their teeth ... As a guy with manky breath is such a massive turn off!! Finally the type of date is important.. It has to be something fun ... and if they're a penny pincher the whole time I wouldn't go on a second date. I'm not saying they have to spend loads just be a gentleman!

Charlie, 20

First date ...Guys should come dressed smart casual but in the style of clothing they like to wear, I think men should just go as themselves. I think sleeping with someone on the first date is a no no. It could make you seem desperate, easy or only on the date for the fun factor and nothing more. I would see how the night goes but I don't see the problem in a goodnight kiss. But guys should not push for sex on the first night it makes them seem sleezy and non interested. Men should be made to wait till the at least the 5th meeting maybe longer it all depends on the people. it's what ever human nature tells you to do.

Su B, 22
Defiantly wrong to sleep with someone on a first date! I am very traditional, like to see a fella dressed up smart, perhaps giving a kiss on the cheek. Women should keep something to the imagination and something exciting! Don't get boobs and legs out... just one. Don't make the first move, always be asked! Do be yourself, He will find out one day what you are really like! Do wear matching under wear. It makes you feelgood! Guys dress smart and pay!

Katie-lou, 23

First date Do's are:- Confidence! Let it shine through. Are you shy? no problem, just don’t hide behind your glass. Gents should dress not to smart but not to casual, a nice shirt, tidy jeans or trousers and clean shoes. If the moment is there for a kiss fine, but on a first date its not right to sleep with each other. Try and arange a second date towards the end of your first date unless your not that keen! Offer to buy the lady a drink. general chit chat is required but not life stories just yet. Get to know the person, like what there job is? how long have they lived in the area. just simple things.  Sit in a comfy position and do not try to be someone your not. erm.......................................... brush your teeth before you go out. And stay away from the garlic while on a date. even though I’m a huge fan, I will also do the same, as after a while you don’t smell too good. Don’t be on your phone all the time... its a first date so should just be the both of you.


Check out what our lads say about this... 'Ask a Chap' 


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The Un-conventional Dating Game

The LYYB co-founders are both single (get your violins at the ready) they’ve been dateless for months, tragically spending nights alone and contemplating purchasing flannel pyjamas.

LYYB has had enough of their tragic ways, so we sent them on a few rather un-conventional dating tasks, we know for a fact Emma has had many problems with Internet dating and we know that Gemma has had many a knock back from misleading blind dates ... but how will our ladies fair when we ask them to push the boundaries on the single scene ... can any of these crazy, insane and potentially dangerous tasks lead them to boyfriends? Or will we be seeing their faces on the 10 o’clock news?

At LYYB we have decided that in modern life Internet dating, speed dating and blind dates are all pretty ‘conventional’ dating methods, we know that in busy times people struggle to socially meet each other without being wasted in a night club or at work.
We’ve set our two single ladies three tasks that could result in potential dates ... *crosses fingers*

No 1: The sign
The sign as stated consists of advertising the LYYB ladies in the windows of the official LYYB motor.

Emma: I didn’t imagine this would work and quite frankly it didn’t I’m sure selling a car in this way works because the sign is attached to the goods your selling. No takers for me using this technique. Hilarious stares though.

Gemma: I think this could have worked if we hadn’t done this on a Sunday when all the old farts (who don't have a clue what a BBM is ) are out doing there Christmas shopping. I think if we had done our research and driven around and parked in a place where hot men are ie. a rugby club and maybe put our phone numbers on it then we would have had more punters. Definitely worth doing again.

No 2: The Roulette
The Mission was to find boyfriends or potential dates via chatroulette www.chatroulette.com ... would the LYYB ladies find love or find genitals galore.

Emma: This is a dangerous game, mainly male body parts on show, I don’t think this is the place to find dates, especially as you’re thrown in with people from all over the world, but you can meet some interesting people here and have conversations of an intellectual nature ... or get your bits out if you fancy.

Gemma: Chatroulette is a great pick me up.  if you want to be flattered and feel sexy this is the place you want to go. Although its easy to get a guys attention and ask them on a date, the lads you are talking to are half way across the world and just want to see some naughtiness.

No 3: The Advertisement
When you’re single don’t you always joke ‘maybe I should just have a massive sign and an arrow pointing at me that says single’ ... well that’s what your LYYB ladies did ...

Emma: Out of all three challenges this was the one where I genuinely thought ‘this could work’ I know on several occasions I’ve joked about this very task ... sadly ... it didn’t work, the worst part is I found myself angling my sign towards men who would walk past with girlfriends like ‘take me home instead ... I’m free’, I think this could work though ... if you had all day and pepper spray to get rid of any weirdos that cross your path!!

Gemma: Like Emma said we started ‘angling’ our signs to certain men however, it scared them off. I think if we were to set up a ‘stand’ in the middle of town where people could come and apply to be our boyfriends this would have been more successful.  I am a bit gutted we didn’t get any dates but to be honest who would actually approach some crazy girls, holding signs asking to be her boyfriend?? NONE. Ok well  maybe some weirdos … but not any tall dark handsome prince charmings that we want to live happily ever after with.

I think what our LYYB ladies are saying is maybe sticking to conventional methods is best … especially if weirdos are involved.

At least Gemma and Emma can say they tried these crackers methods.
One day they’ll find some yummy men to take them off our hands but until then at least they have each other … (sad but true)

LYYB  

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Ask a Chap- January

At LYYB the ladies of the business are always pontificating the behavioural traits of the gentlemen they encounter. We decided we’d had enough of their constant and frustrated pondering so LYYB is putting these ever so complex questions to four men a month in a bid to put our lady issues to rest.

'Being single is a constant battle for all parties involved, first dates are especially mind boggling, what are your do’s and don’ts for that ever so awkward occasion? How do you think us ladies should appear? Dressed up? Should we kiss you? Is it wrong to sleep with someone on the first date? Basically gents round up your first date etiquette for us'

Chris, 24
First dates: its definitely wrong to sleep or try to sleep with someone on the first date it comes across creepy and could ruin any chance of things working out! I think walk them home or pay for the taxi and a kiss before you leave each other is the best way to end it, if you still like each other after the first date then a kiss will keep each party wanting more (providing you don't get slobbered on)  Rule 1 is the bloke should always pay for the whole first date, don't be afraid to open up and be honest about things it keeps conversation going and let's her know more about you, obviously you don't want to go to far but If she still doesn't think your insane afterwards then a second date hopefully will be on the cards. Ask plenty of questions, this should come naturally as nervous as you might be after all you should be interested in her if your on a date together. Don't try to be funny it just makes you look stupid normally the harder you try the less funny you are, you’re either funny or you’re not never try to be something you’re not! Big rule is never lie about stuff if you end up together then they will find out the truth! remember you are both gonna be nervous so stay calm don't over think things and just be yourself (as cheesy as that sounds)

Dustin Hutton, 29, New York
For Guys--
Do: open doors, pull out chairs, be polite, not just to your date but to everyone you come into contact with whilst in your date's company, ask open ended questions and actually listen to the answer (it makes a difference)
For Ladies--
Do: Dress in whatever fashion makes you feel the most comfortable but wear nice perfume (dudes are suckers for nice smells), kiss but don't sleep with on first date (any girl I've ever slept with on a first date has never lasted long), when the bill comes let us pay but at the very least put up a little fight (it makes us feel like men)

Adam, 25
Please let us know beforehand of any dietary needs you have. There is nothing worse than booking the best table at a nice restaurant only to discover you hate everything on the menu. Make an effort with clothes and appearance, but don’t fret about it too much.
A kiss on the cheek is the acceptable greeting for both parties.
Feel free to talk about anything that interests you. If you find we’re being a little quiet, don’t back off; engage with us. Besides that, we like to listen. However….
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TALK ABOUT YOUR EX.
If you want dessert, have dessert.
Sex on a first date should be regarded as a possibility. Make it clear to us if that that is the direction you want the evening to be heading. Carry condoms. We will think you are responsible, not a slut. Sorry to say, but we may forget them ourselves.
Whatever happens, enjoy yourself. It is meant to be fun after all.

                        

Paul, 26

For me first dates are all about looking for that spark and discovering whether the girl is on the same wavelength as me, and as such etiquette comes second to this. First impressions and looks aren't everything but of course I'm not naive enough to think that they don't hold weight. For example if I arrange to meet a girl in my local pub and she rocks up looking like something from TOWIE then I'm going to be understandably apprehensive. Similarly if we're meeting in a cocktail bar and she turns up in jeans and a hoodie I'm not going to be impressed, so with regards to dress-code common sense should prevail on both sides. I'll freely admit I'm old fashioned when it comes to these things, sex on a first date isn't a no-no but there has to be some serious chemistry for me to consider it. Too many people rush into it, for me the anticipation makes it all the sweeter when you do eventually get to the bedroom. As for kissing I think again that largely depends on the chemistry. If I think the date's gone well and I'm getting the right signals then of course I'll make a move and would welcome it if she did the same, otherwise if she gives me a peck on the cheek at the end of the night then I'm not going to be disappointed, it is only the first date after all.

Check out what our ladies say about this...'Ask a Bird'

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