Ask a Bird- January

The boys at LYYB have been feeling rather left out of the dating loop, so we decided after a large number of queries to ask the birds what the craic is! We all know the girls are as equally complex as the boys … so it’s time to level the playing field.     

'Being single is a constant battle for all parties involved, first dates are especially mind boggling, what are your do’s and don’ts for that ever so awkward occasion? How do you think gents should appear? Dressed up? Should they kiss us? Is it wrong to sleep with someone on the first date? Basically ladies round up your first date etiquette for us'

Donna, 23

I'd have to say that regardless of how well you know the person sex on the first date is a no no! As it gives men the wrong impression and although you may not think it at the time ... They really want to have to work for it! I think kissing on a first date is acceptable as you've got to give them a little taste to keep them interested! Also flirting is a must you just don't want to make it all about flirting as again they'll get the wrong impression! You have to balance flirting and talking so that you can get to know one another. I don't really mind on whether the guy dresses up, it depends on the type of date, but I want to see that they've made an effort not just picked up a manky t-shirt off their bedroom floor and sprayed a bit of lynx on!! And they definitely have to have brushed their teeth ... As a guy with manky breath is such a massive turn off!! Finally the type of date is important.. It has to be something fun ... and if they're a penny pincher the whole time I wouldn't go on a second date. I'm not saying they have to spend loads just be a gentleman!

Charlie, 20

First date ...Guys should come dressed smart casual but in the style of clothing they like to wear, I think men should just go as themselves. I think sleeping with someone on the first date is a no no. It could make you seem desperate, easy or only on the date for the fun factor and nothing more. I would see how the night goes but I don't see the problem in a goodnight kiss. But guys should not push for sex on the first night it makes them seem sleezy and non interested. Men should be made to wait till the at least the 5th meeting maybe longer it all depends on the people. it's what ever human nature tells you to do.

Su B, 22
Defiantly wrong to sleep with someone on a first date! I am very traditional, like to see a fella dressed up smart, perhaps giving a kiss on the cheek. Women should keep something to the imagination and something exciting! Don't get boobs and legs out... just one. Don't make the first move, always be asked! Do be yourself, He will find out one day what you are really like! Do wear matching under wear. It makes you feelgood! Guys dress smart and pay!

Katie-lou, 23

First date Do's are:- Confidence! Let it shine through. Are you shy? no problem, just don’t hide behind your glass. Gents should dress not to smart but not to casual, a nice shirt, tidy jeans or trousers and clean shoes. If the moment is there for a kiss fine, but on a first date its not right to sleep with each other. Try and arange a second date towards the end of your first date unless your not that keen! Offer to buy the lady a drink. general chit chat is required but not life stories just yet. Get to know the person, like what there job is? how long have they lived in the area. just simple things.  Sit in a comfy position and do not try to be someone your not. erm.......................................... brush your teeth before you go out. And stay away from the garlic while on a date. even though I’m a huge fan, I will also do the same, as after a while you don’t smell too good. Don’t be on your phone all the time... its a first date so should just be the both of you.


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Ask a Chap- January

At LYYB the ladies of the business are always pontificating the behavioural traits of the gentlemen they encounter. We decided we’d had enough of their constant and frustrated pondering so LYYB is putting these ever so complex questions to four men a month in a bid to put our lady issues to rest.

'Being single is a constant battle for all parties involved, first dates are especially mind boggling, what are your do’s and don’ts for that ever so awkward occasion? How do you think us ladies should appear? Dressed up? Should we kiss you? Is it wrong to sleep with someone on the first date? Basically gents round up your first date etiquette for us'

Chris, 24
First dates: its definitely wrong to sleep or try to sleep with someone on the first date it comes across creepy and could ruin any chance of things working out! I think walk them home or pay for the taxi and a kiss before you leave each other is the best way to end it, if you still like each other after the first date then a kiss will keep each party wanting more (providing you don't get slobbered on)  Rule 1 is the bloke should always pay for the whole first date, don't be afraid to open up and be honest about things it keeps conversation going and let's her know more about you, obviously you don't want to go to far but If she still doesn't think your insane afterwards then a second date hopefully will be on the cards. Ask plenty of questions, this should come naturally as nervous as you might be after all you should be interested in her if your on a date together. Don't try to be funny it just makes you look stupid normally the harder you try the less funny you are, you’re either funny or you’re not never try to be something you’re not! Big rule is never lie about stuff if you end up together then they will find out the truth! remember you are both gonna be nervous so stay calm don't over think things and just be yourself (as cheesy as that sounds)

Dustin Hutton, 29, New York
For Guys--
Do: open doors, pull out chairs, be polite, not just to your date but to everyone you come into contact with whilst in your date's company, ask open ended questions and actually listen to the answer (it makes a difference)
For Ladies--
Do: Dress in whatever fashion makes you feel the most comfortable but wear nice perfume (dudes are suckers for nice smells), kiss but don't sleep with on first date (any girl I've ever slept with on a first date has never lasted long), when the bill comes let us pay but at the very least put up a little fight (it makes us feel like men)

Adam, 25
Please let us know beforehand of any dietary needs you have. There is nothing worse than booking the best table at a nice restaurant only to discover you hate everything on the menu. Make an effort with clothes and appearance, but don’t fret about it too much.
A kiss on the cheek is the acceptable greeting for both parties.
Feel free to talk about anything that interests you. If you find we’re being a little quiet, don’t back off; engage with us. Besides that, we like to listen. However….
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TALK ABOUT YOUR EX.
If you want dessert, have dessert.
Sex on a first date should be regarded as a possibility. Make it clear to us if that that is the direction you want the evening to be heading. Carry condoms. We will think you are responsible, not a slut. Sorry to say, but we may forget them ourselves.
Whatever happens, enjoy yourself. It is meant to be fun after all.

                        

Paul, 26

For me first dates are all about looking for that spark and discovering whether the girl is on the same wavelength as me, and as such etiquette comes second to this. First impressions and looks aren't everything but of course I'm not naive enough to think that they don't hold weight. For example if I arrange to meet a girl in my local pub and she rocks up looking like something from TOWIE then I'm going to be understandably apprehensive. Similarly if we're meeting in a cocktail bar and she turns up in jeans and a hoodie I'm not going to be impressed, so with regards to dress-code common sense should prevail on both sides. I'll freely admit I'm old fashioned when it comes to these things, sex on a first date isn't a no-no but there has to be some serious chemistry for me to consider it. Too many people rush into it, for me the anticipation makes it all the sweeter when you do eventually get to the bedroom. As for kissing I think again that largely depends on the chemistry. If I think the date's gone well and I'm getting the right signals then of course I'll make a move and would welcome it if she did the same, otherwise if she gives me a peck on the cheek at the end of the night then I'm not going to be disappointed, it is only the first date after all.

Check out what our ladies say about this...'Ask a Bird'

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