A Curious Case of Hair Colour - Body Issues

I have always dyed my hair every colour under the sun (please see embarrassing photos below), but until I decided a couple of years ago to go back to my natural state of blonde I truly didn’t realise the difference that hair colour has on how people treat you.
I find being a blonde to be a negative hair colour, as a lady I want to be treated as one but as a blonde I find that most of the men I encounter like me because I’m blonde, blue eyed etc... not because I’m alright to talk to and am moderately intelligent.
I want to find out whether this is true for all hair colours, in the matter of all things LYYB it simply wouldn’t work without an experiment, so I have dyed my hair red and my eyebrows to see if I evoke different reactions and as ever at the end I will some up my findings. I’ll also be speaking about previous hair colours I've used in the past.  

Red Head
I was a red head for a couple of months, dying your hair red is a massive effort, It runs out so quickly and costs a small fortune to keep looking lovely, so is it worth it?
I think although superficially the hair looked fabulous, I think what I felt inside was not so good, I did get what I suppose you could class as more positive male attention. Gentlemen started to approach me more, I could even go as far to say the calibre of men I was attracting were of a higher standard. The conflicting mental issue that I was having was because I started to feel like people didn’t like the real me. The real me is blonde. If men are treating me different because of a hair colour then surely they’re not as amazing as I first thought.
I have to say that even women I encountered during this time treated me differently, as a blonde I find women can sometimes come across like they hate my guts... as a red head not so much... I didn’t realise hair colour made this much of a difference. It was like all of a sudden I became less of a threat. 

Black Head
When I was younger I had black hair... SHOCKING. People used to think because I dyed my hair black I must’ve been an Emo or a Goth. You’re wrong. I dressed quirky, but I always have regardless of hair colour. People felt the need to brand me with a label so they could deal with my ever changing strange look.
I was once told that I couldn’t have a job unless I changed my hair colour from black to something more natural because I was deemed ‘unapproachable.’ Which is ridiculous, I was a normal eighteen year old.
Don’t even get me started on how people used to treat me, girls my age thought I was a weirdo and boys my age pretty much thought the same thing. All this because of a hair colour?

Blonde Head
As I stated earlier I sometimes find being a blonde has a negative impact on my life.
You wouldn’t believe the amount of people that do honestly assume that because of my hair colour I must be an idiot. I’m clearly not. I’ve found it to be a nuisance at times when I want to blend in, when I lived on my own I would constantly be harassed by men shouting such creative things as ‘Hey Goldilocks you can sleep in my bed’… I think that’s my personal favourite. Having blonde hair is like an invitation for abuse... blonde jokes, misinterpretation, perverts and people honestly believing due to hair colour you’re a slut.

I do however believe through all this negativity you have to be yourself, so after having black, red and blonde. I’ll stick with the blonde this time and wont be so influenced by the way that people treat me.
If you don’t like the blonde hair... You know what to do.
LYYB x

Ask a Chap - February

At LYYB the ladies of the business are always pontificating the behavioural traits of the gentlemen they encounter. We decided we’d had enough of their constant and frustrated pondering so LYYB is putting these ever so complex questions to four men a month in a bid to put our lady issues to rest.

Valentines Day, whether you're coupled up or single how does the allegedly most romantic day of the year make you feel? Do you celebrate or dread it? Do you always receive a dozen red roses or does it pass you by without a care? Your thoughts LYYBers.



Michael 28  
I have never had a lot of luck when it comes to Valentine's Day being single for a large proportion of them so far, and seeing happy couples almost giggling with excitement make me reflect on my single status. Although I don't believe you need to be a couple to be happy,
what occurred to me is that, on Valentine's day you can pretty much have free reign to be as flamboyant and make wildly outrageous romantic gestures as people seem ever so slightly more open to the idea of falling love. Which in turn fills me with hope and giddiness at the idea
of happiness.
I always celebrate Valentine's day no matter what, If I am on my own I will treat myself with something special, a little trinket or taking a friend out for a meal (not on Valentine's day that would be strange). I feel it's a day to celebrate love not that your in a relationship, so you can do what the hell you like.
OK love you, bye.



Xanti Tito Xipu, 21
Valentines Day .... There’s no word of a lie it’s a one of them days that makes a person feel a bit warm... but when you are single it is a tad different... I mean you want to be doing all the things that loved up folk do but you cant because you haven’t got anyone special to share that love and romance with. I definitely don’t dread the day, just cause you haven't got a valentine doesn’t mean that you should give up on the chance of finding one, that’s how I see it.




Will Silverside

"This is Will... he's single." What a common and apparently vitally important part of my identity this has become in recent months. I'm just glad that this has replaced, "Hi meet Will... He's gay."

Whilst I've had relationships, I've never actually shared a valentines day with anyone. In some respects, I do dread it. Yes, I am single but am I lonely? My answer, (363 days a year at least) would be no. But every year to some degree I find myself wallowing in self pity over how empty and without meaning my life is. If this was truly how I felt about my life, then I would feel it every day- not just once a year on February 14th.

On the flip side of the coin though, (And sorry to resort to predictable view point) Isn't it just commercialised crap? There's no romance in Valentines Day- It has become about buying cards, flowers and chocolate. There is more to love than that.

I have a good life. I am extremely lucky for what I have. Sure, a boyfriend might give my life something it doesn't know it's missing but until that day, February 14th will continue to disappoint.
Will (I am Soooo Carrie Bradshaw) Silverside

Matt, 27

I'm not a massive fan of Valentine's Day. If you're single it can feel like people are rubbing your face in it, and if you're attached then, depending on how your relationship works, the pressure's on to "be romantic". If you want to go and do something then everywhere's busy and things are more expensive, and it's hard not to come to the conclusion that Valentine's Day as we know it is really just a money-making excercise.

I have had enjoyable Valentine's Days when in a relationship, but that had nothing to do with the day itself. Exchanging cards and so on is fine, but if you really care about someone you should be showing them this all the time, not just on an appointed day of the year. Flowers and chocolates on Valentine's Day? Pretty much what's expected of you. Flowers and chocolates any other day of the year, because you just felt like treating your other half? To me, seems more meaningful.

As a guy, I also feel, rightly or wrongly, that the onus falls on me to "be romantic" and do or organise something, and to me it doesn't feel very romantic or spontaneous if I'm doing it because it's Valentine's Day.



Check out what our birds have to say about this.... Click here

Ask a Bird- January

The boys at LYYB have been feeling rather left out of the dating loop, so we decided after a large number of queries to ask the birds what the craic is! We all know the girls are as equally complex as the boys … so it’s time to level the playing field.     

'Being single is a constant battle for all parties involved, first dates are especially mind boggling, what are your do’s and don’ts for that ever so awkward occasion? How do you think gents should appear? Dressed up? Should they kiss us? Is it wrong to sleep with someone on the first date? Basically ladies round up your first date etiquette for us'

Donna, 23

I'd have to say that regardless of how well you know the person sex on the first date is a no no! As it gives men the wrong impression and although you may not think it at the time ... They really want to have to work for it! I think kissing on a first date is acceptable as you've got to give them a little taste to keep them interested! Also flirting is a must you just don't want to make it all about flirting as again they'll get the wrong impression! You have to balance flirting and talking so that you can get to know one another. I don't really mind on whether the guy dresses up, it depends on the type of date, but I want to see that they've made an effort not just picked up a manky t-shirt off their bedroom floor and sprayed a bit of lynx on!! And they definitely have to have brushed their teeth ... As a guy with manky breath is such a massive turn off!! Finally the type of date is important.. It has to be something fun ... and if they're a penny pincher the whole time I wouldn't go on a second date. I'm not saying they have to spend loads just be a gentleman!

Charlie, 20

First date ...Guys should come dressed smart casual but in the style of clothing they like to wear, I think men should just go as themselves. I think sleeping with someone on the first date is a no no. It could make you seem desperate, easy or only on the date for the fun factor and nothing more. I would see how the night goes but I don't see the problem in a goodnight kiss. But guys should not push for sex on the first night it makes them seem sleezy and non interested. Men should be made to wait till the at least the 5th meeting maybe longer it all depends on the people. it's what ever human nature tells you to do.

Su B, 22
Defiantly wrong to sleep with someone on a first date! I am very traditional, like to see a fella dressed up smart, perhaps giving a kiss on the cheek. Women should keep something to the imagination and something exciting! Don't get boobs and legs out... just one. Don't make the first move, always be asked! Do be yourself, He will find out one day what you are really like! Do wear matching under wear. It makes you feelgood! Guys dress smart and pay!

Katie-lou, 23

First date Do's are:- Confidence! Let it shine through. Are you shy? no problem, just don’t hide behind your glass. Gents should dress not to smart but not to casual, a nice shirt, tidy jeans or trousers and clean shoes. If the moment is there for a kiss fine, but on a first date its not right to sleep with each other. Try and arange a second date towards the end of your first date unless your not that keen! Offer to buy the lady a drink. general chit chat is required but not life stories just yet. Get to know the person, like what there job is? how long have they lived in the area. just simple things.  Sit in a comfy position and do not try to be someone your not. erm.......................................... brush your teeth before you go out. And stay away from the garlic while on a date. even though I’m a huge fan, I will also do the same, as after a while you don’t smell too good. Don’t be on your phone all the time... its a first date so should just be the both of you.


Check out what our lads say about this... 'Ask a Chap' 


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The Un-conventional Dating Game

The LYYB co-founders are both single (get your violins at the ready) they’ve been dateless for months, tragically spending nights alone and contemplating purchasing flannel pyjamas.

LYYB has had enough of their tragic ways, so we sent them on a few rather un-conventional dating tasks, we know for a fact Emma has had many problems with Internet dating and we know that Gemma has had many a knock back from misleading blind dates ... but how will our ladies fair when we ask them to push the boundaries on the single scene ... can any of these crazy, insane and potentially dangerous tasks lead them to boyfriends? Or will we be seeing their faces on the 10 o’clock news?

At LYYB we have decided that in modern life Internet dating, speed dating and blind dates are all pretty ‘conventional’ dating methods, we know that in busy times people struggle to socially meet each other without being wasted in a night club or at work.
We’ve set our two single ladies three tasks that could result in potential dates ... *crosses fingers*

No 1: The sign
The sign as stated consists of advertising the LYYB ladies in the windows of the official LYYB motor.

Emma: I didn’t imagine this would work and quite frankly it didn’t I’m sure selling a car in this way works because the sign is attached to the goods your selling. No takers for me using this technique. Hilarious stares though.

Gemma: I think this could have worked if we hadn’t done this on a Sunday when all the old farts (who don't have a clue what a BBM is ) are out doing there Christmas shopping. I think if we had done our research and driven around and parked in a place where hot men are ie. a rugby club and maybe put our phone numbers on it then we would have had more punters. Definitely worth doing again.

No 2: The Roulette
The Mission was to find boyfriends or potential dates via chatroulette www.chatroulette.com ... would the LYYB ladies find love or find genitals galore.

Emma: This is a dangerous game, mainly male body parts on show, I don’t think this is the place to find dates, especially as you’re thrown in with people from all over the world, but you can meet some interesting people here and have conversations of an intellectual nature ... or get your bits out if you fancy.

Gemma: Chatroulette is a great pick me up.  if you want to be flattered and feel sexy this is the place you want to go. Although its easy to get a guys attention and ask them on a date, the lads you are talking to are half way across the world and just want to see some naughtiness.

No 3: The Advertisement
When you’re single don’t you always joke ‘maybe I should just have a massive sign and an arrow pointing at me that says single’ ... well that’s what your LYYB ladies did ...

Emma: Out of all three challenges this was the one where I genuinely thought ‘this could work’ I know on several occasions I’ve joked about this very task ... sadly ... it didn’t work, the worst part is I found myself angling my sign towards men who would walk past with girlfriends like ‘take me home instead ... I’m free’, I think this could work though ... if you had all day and pepper spray to get rid of any weirdos that cross your path!!

Gemma: Like Emma said we started ‘angling’ our signs to certain men however, it scared them off. I think if we were to set up a ‘stand’ in the middle of town where people could come and apply to be our boyfriends this would have been more successful.  I am a bit gutted we didn’t get any dates but to be honest who would actually approach some crazy girls, holding signs asking to be her boyfriend?? NONE. Ok well  maybe some weirdos … but not any tall dark handsome prince charmings that we want to live happily ever after with.

I think what our LYYB ladies are saying is maybe sticking to conventional methods is best … especially if weirdos are involved.

At least Gemma and Emma can say they tried these crackers methods.
One day they’ll find some yummy men to take them off our hands but until then at least they have each other … (sad but true)

LYYB  

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Ask a Chap!

At LYYB the ladies of the business are always pontificating the behavioural traits of the gentlemen they encounter. We decided we’d had enough of their constant and frustrated pondering so LYYB is putting these ever so complex questions to six men a month in a bid to put our lady issues to rest.

'At LYYB we are perplexed by the integrity of men in relationships. Our LYYB ladies tell us that the majority of men who appear interested in them are already in relationships. These 'gentlemen' claim they are 'in love' with their respective partners however they behave untoward via varied technical communications. As a guy what's your experiences\ theories on this?'

Chris, 23,

Men want the comfort and security of a relationship, and whilst they say they love their girlfriend it's more a case of them loving the situation they're in. They love the sex on tap and comfort of a girl who cares for them. And because they're not really in love with their other half, they still want the thrill and excitement that flirting with girls they don't know brings. Don't get me wrong, they probably care for their girlfriend but young guys get bored easily and they look for fun in other places.

Alex C,  20

If they are really in love with their gf then perhaps they like the fact that they are getting attention off other women as well as their gf and they like that. But then I think that’s crossing the line because if you are with someone you are making a commitment to stay loyal and not look for attention from elsewhere. And perhaps when they are sending these texts saying that they still love their gf they are covering their own backs trying not to come across as such a bad person and convince the other person that there’s not really anything bad going on when actually it is.

Jimmy, 25

Personally, i believe that if you are texting, or using social media to flirt with other girls whilst in a living relationship then obviously there's an element of emotional insecurity from the male perspective. Not saying that this is just a male trait as I know many girls that flirt that do similar. I went to school with a girl that has recently got married and she really gets a kick out of flirting with other men. Regularly emailing them. One of my best mates got with a married woman after she emailed his work account constantly. She emailed inviting him to cycles and triathlons, trying to meet whilst having the genuine excuse of undergoing their hobby.In some cases, they say that if you're in a relationship and your partner suddenly starts a health kick despite being in the comfort stage of the relationship then they've already decided that they're ending relationship, only when they're comfortable with their look...When I have been in a relationship I've always found myself texting others. Yet that was when I was younger and I've never been in love so doesn't count. Yet it's all down to the thrill of being caught. I reckon on some level you want to be caught so that you can make the hard decision, easily. Letting her break it off.

Andrew, 31

I would say it's probably something to do with us guys wanting to know that we still "have it" (the ability to pull women) and a lot of guys not really being happy with what we have.Even if you're in a relationship with a great girl you might see someone else and it might look like she's better so you might try a little harmless flirting and if you receive any kind of encouragement back it’s a real ego boost, and everyone knows we (guys) live off our egos.I also think there's a macho-ness involved with it too. Amongst friends, men are praised for their sexual exploits and therefore it could be seen as more macho to have more than one woman interested at a time. I, in my youth, had a wonderful girlfriend but decided to try and flirt with one of her friends over text. It always seems so much easier to say things in a text/chat than you would in real life. I got caught of course, and even though we stayed friends she has never forgiven me for it (and it's been 10 years!).

Phil, 26

Observation #1: They're clearly not mature enough to be in a committed relationship -- if they are doing this to their existing partner, chances are they will do it to the next one. The only way to stop it is to end the existing relationship in a decent, mature way.

Observation #2: Men are, fairly uniformly, driven by sex. If they're not getting it with their partner and don't have a stable relationship with them, then any show of affection or interest from another woman can result in the above mentioned games...

Observation #3: Likelihood is that the men from Observation #1 will never change - they are what is most commonly known as 'arseholes'.

Kurt, 23

I admit to having done this, but if push came to shove; I wouldn't cheat. It's nice to know if somebody finds you attractive. It's not a road I go down often. The first time it happened,the doubts it cast ended my first long-term relationship, but then again if that was meant to last, such a thing wouldn't have happened. I also seem to remember one young lady who "almost" kissed me when she was in a relationship too..

LYYB